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From: client <client03@camosun.bc.ca> Newsgroups: alt.consciousness.4th-way,alt.music.4-track,alt.2600.414,alt.irc.42,alt.music.4ad,comp.bugs.4bsd,eunet.bugs.4bsd,alt.consciousness.4th-way,rec.autos.4x4,law.class.581-goldstein,alt.SbC.604,alt.collecting.8-track-tapes,fr.news.8bits,fr.usenet.8bits,alt.tv.90210,bit.listserv.9370-l,alt.2600.AOL,alt.cars.Ford-Probe,alt.bloated-ego.Master-Ti-Chi,alt.law-enforcement.O_P_P,alt.2600.QnA,alt.test.a,soc.culture.a,alt.music.a-cappella,rec.music.a-cappella,anarch.lists.a-infos,anarch.lists.a-infos-d,alt.r ecovery.aa,alt.tv.ab-fab Subject: Re: Julian, you notice who I x-post too? Date: Wed, 06 Nov 1996 13:17:34 -0800 Organization: University of Oklahoma Health Sciences Center Lines: 167 Message-ID: <3281006E.4173@camosun.bc.ca> References: <62.6541933268309@news.nemonet.com> <55gqh5$626@decaxp.harvard.edu> <55ml1e$9h2@dfw-ixnews10.ix.netcom.com> Reply-To: client03@camosun.bc.ca NNTP-Posting-Host: cc315-04.camosun.bc.ca Mime-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit X-Mailer: Mozilla 3.0 (Win95; I) Path: euryale.cc.adfa.oz.au!newshost.carno.net.au!harbinger.cc.monash.edu.au!news.mira.net.au!news.internex.net.au!203.17.71.35!news.mel.connect.com.au!munnari.OZ.AU!spool.mu.edu!uwm.edu!cs.utexas.edu!natinst.com!news-relay.us.dell.com!paladin.american.edu!news.ecn.uoknor.edu!REX.RE.uokhsc.edu!usenet Xref: euryale.cc.adfa.oz.au alt.consciousness.4th-way:6689 alt.music.4ad:4851 comp.bugs.4bsd:2139 rec.autos.4x4:48416 alt.collecting.8-track-tapes:1505 alt.tv.90210:3638 bit.listserv.9370-l:137 alt.cars.Ford-Probe:2343 alt.music.a-cappella:3981 rec.music.a-cappella:12580 alt.recovery.aa:42422 alt.tv.ab-fab:4280 Stephen Paul Vanier wrote: > > I x-post to alot of get rich quick to mirror them back! It's what I > do!So Jim from Jerksville, you have a good story: > Newsgroups: alt.consciousness.4th-way,alt.consciousness.jancox > From: kana@Fair.net (Jim from Jerksonville) > Subject: Re: Living with life. > Date: Tue, 05 Nov 1996 02:18:20 GMT > > svanier@ix.netcom.com(Stephen Paul Vanier) wrote: > > besides, > >when the whole mess collapses, they'll have bailed out with big stock > >options and golden parachutes ;-)************(What are these > feelings? > > You have fear, insecurities, know them when they are happening, > > I was just being descriptive, not resentful. I am no longer concerned > with their practices ;-)*****(Bullshit, it's called jealousy, go into > it!)********* > > *(What you mean, if the body becomes > >total, becomes totally occupied by some task, silence can enter. You > >ever get sick, the mind is shut down because all resources are being > >used to heal the flu? This is the most blissful of times, no worries, > >because the mind has no fuel, just be aware and this same situation > >reveals itself, it's a ledge that you can climb to rid yourself of the > >fear and anxiety that we all feel during times like this.) > > A very good example. I recall one of the happiest times of my life > was a day when I had the flu as a child. I lay on the living room > hide-a-bed, so my parents could watch my fever. I had no worries > about school or the other things that trouble a child -- just getting > better. I had just finished a really inspiring book about travel to > the stars, closed it, and felt Totally at peace, happy, content -- > something rare, as I was a very nervous child. > *************(Yes and each year with more and more repressed crap you > just get doubled over with the weight of life.)********** > > And now that I think of it, I get this same warm fever-but-not-a-fever > feeling from the Silence. In fact, I foolishly tried describing some > of my sensations to what I thought was a sensitive co-worker, and they > immediately told me to go to a doctor. Just what I need, to be > drugged back into robot hood. > ****************(Oh, this happened to me too, swine and pearls. I told > this one gal about merging with the whole, about being alone in > nothingness without body just a burning spirit so blissful and > complete, and she was horrified, like I had been with the Devil. She > wanted to call the cops, but what for?)************ > > *(Labels mean you are confused about what you are > >experiencing and consoling yourself)*************** > > I will agree here. Cosmologies, theories, labels -- there are > entirely too many of them in the spiritual movements, which are > ossifying around "concepts" just the same as the old major religions > have. The concepts are a lot shinier, from crystals to channeling, > but it's the same old shell game. I was just looking for analogies > for others, but it's nothing I would hold tight to. The more concepts > I can abandon, the better. The main reason I am trying this group is > that I know Gurdjieffans are rather hard-nosed, and not going to put > up with a lot of Pink Light theorizing, or repetition of the Universe > Accoring to Shirley MacClaine ;-) > > Besides, I already answered that idea to myself once. I once > postulated that they had finally discovered the Grand Unified Theory, > and a combination of physcists and mystics had answered Everything and > written it in a Very Large Book. Assume this is true. > > So what? It wouldn't mean a damn thing to our being in the world, or > the mystery of our existence. Not if every single question we could > possibly ask was answered. Have one recording machine ask the > questions and another one answer them all day long, and it would do > you as good. > ************(What are you talking about? Who are you talking > too?)******************** > > *(Is what I say about being aware that you are > >looking out the eyes to see, that whatever is conscious in you can > grab > >the moment and just force itself to awaken, to be totally present? > >This state is so ordinary, yet you can't remain there, you wake > totally > >up and you go "So? So what?" But in going "So, So what?" This is the > >first sign of the ego putting this state down, being negative, it is > >subtly gaining control of the situation again, and you are subtly > >falling back to sleep which is the worries and the fears that you > >feel)****** > > And this gets the most agreement of all. The ego is a Sneaky devil.. > You know, I Still go through some of my old emotional routines, even > when the Emotion isn't there. Habit is Sooooo strong. And one drifts > off into reverie and ugly thinking Soooo easily. It bears continual > watching. The one thing that is with me is simply that the old state > of mind was Painful compared to the new. Yet the painful state of > mind still seems to Attract -- like a magnet. Perhaps because it is > so noisy -- it gets your attention, like the squeaky wheel. And I am > Well aware of this dangerous "so what" So what am I gaining by this? > So maybe it's just a delusion, or I just feel so good because I'm > about to get a fever and have that pleasant pre-flu lassitude. So how > have I changed? And I Still have a crummy job ;-) ha, ha, ha. The > ego is Really hitting me with everything it's got. Now and then I > think "I wish I was dead" and that Really scares the ego -- which > tries to convince me I'm going crazy. But I know exactly what I'm > about. I mean the Peace of ego-death, not physical death. > > Nearly All the trouble in the world comes because one ego wants to > impress other egos, and yet they are all fictitious entities. What a > very strange joke on us all. > **********************(Tonight I went to dinner with my partner, and he > was there and I was there and Judi was there, and I started to tell a > story about Samson and my Jaw, and I said two three words and he cuts > me off and starts to tell this other story that he knew on my subject > which was a new subject. I cut him off, "Do you ever wonder what I > would have talked about if you hadn't just cut me off?" And nobody > listens, so I am like another Mystic, "I'm a parrot on a pole for forty > years, and nobody to hear!" Said Kabir. > > All this pain, caused by nonexistent, > imaginary constructs trying to impress other nonexistent, imaginary > constructs. There is some sort of flaw in our wiring, it seems to me. > ************(Nobody home at all, just a happening, of energy, of the > play of society of the ant farm. Not even worth a capital > letter.)************ > I have friends that are just so much in a crisis > >that no matter what they do, it's a crisis. They need a vacation from > >life, because living in a crisis is a burden. Relax, the world is > >controlled by God, and all will be well, and in short order too!)* > > Yes, we'll all be dead -- ha, ha, ha. I begin to see what Walt > Whitman meant when he said that was a state that was luckier than > could be imagined. > > Still, it's Very hard to stay awake when the very Design of the world, > especially if you have to live and work and survive in it, is designed > to get you so preoccupied with its craziness, that you fall asleep > again. Although it's a rather Noisy sleep. > > It is certainly true about your friends, though. Most crises Are > self-generated. And Very habitual. I am Still, now and then, going > through an old conflict that I really should drop. But sometimes, > when I am not quite myself, my body, mind, and mouth move into it > Automatically. What we do is largely automatism, and I thought that > would stop immediately -- but I have discovered that it has great > Inertia, and will probably take a while to wind down. It may even try > to get me into trouble so I'll forget what I'm about. Although I am > not Sure what I am about. As Judi mentions in a post, it is more in > the nature of a gift that does not have to be understood, just opened. > > But it is a gift that I think is a bit slippery at first -- > hopefully, my grip will improve ;-) > ******************(You want the truth? I would guess and my guess is > about as good as an answer of anyone you know. I would guess that you > can stay awake looking at Gurdjieff's second hand watch test, maybe > seven seconds and a normal person is five or six, but still that 20 > percent more than everyone else. Just a bit more, but noticeable, > especially when crisis hit. But what's that mean? You have hardly > started, and I'm tough, as tough a teacher as they come, and I don't > ever stop form self-observation, and even now, with a self induced > labotomy done naturally by nature, as the mind refines itself to just a > problem solving wisper, I still think much work needs to be done on my > own machine, so I say to you, "pull the beam from your own eye, and > cease to worry about your neighbors splinter!: > > kana@fair.net <Jim Mooney> Friend of Coyote, the Trickster -- > Aarrrooooooo! Hi I'm just experimenting.